.Editor's Note: The observing is the message of a character from Exploration Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written very much concerning specifics of this particular purpose during the course of the month I've been below, mainly for two causes: the first being actually that there has been actually very little bit of time to accomplish that type of creating, and also the second thing is since I'm unsure exactly how relaxed I am sharing thought and feelings I provide family and friends along with the rest of the world.Well, undoubtedly the world transformed today. What I mention or carry out is actually quite slight reviewed to the importance of what happened to our nation today when it was struck through ... through whom? Terrorists is actually all we understand, I guess. Difficult to know at whom to route our rage and concern ...I had merely ended up a variety of activities this morning, the absolute most taxing being actually the physical examinations of all team members. In an exclusive chat complying with that, the trip specialist informed me they were having a quite negative time on the ground. I had no suggestion ...He described the condition to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually made speechless, at that point terrified. My 1st idea was actually that this had not been a real chat, that I was still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It only failed to seem achievable on this scale in our country. I could not even envision the particulars, even prior to the news of more destruction began coming in.Vladimir came over quite promptly, picking up that one thing extremely serious was being gone over. I swung Michael into the component also. They were likewise blown away as well as stunned. After we signed off, I tried to describe to Vladimir and Michael as greatest I could the possible measurement of this act of horror in downtown Manhattan as well as at the Pentagon. They clearly comprehended and also were actually quite sympathetic.I browsed the World Chart on the pc to see where over the planet our company were and saw that we were happening southeast out of Canada and also would certainly be actually skipping New England in a couple of moments. I zoomed around the terminal until I located a home window that would provide me a view of NYC as well as got the local cam. It took place to be a camera, as well as I was looking southern from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke appeared to have a weird bloom to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the metropolitan area. After going through among the news articles our experts only obtained, I feel our company were checking out NY around the amount of time of, or soon after, the crash of the second high rise. Just how horrible ...I scanned the camera all along the East Coastline to the south to see if I might observe some other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, yet nothing showed up.It was actually pretty difficult to deal with job after that, though we possessed some to accomplish, however on the next orbit our experts moved across the US additional south. All 3 people were operating one or two electronic cameras to try to get views of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, but no details resource might be seen. All of it looked astonishing from two to three hundred miles away. I can't visualize the terrible settings on the ground.Apart from the emotional effect of our nation being dealt with as well as hundreds of our consumers and also maybe some close friends being actually eliminated, one of the most overwhelming emotion being where I am is one of solitude.Next time ... I presume the tiredness and psychological tension obtained the very best of me. I couldn't stay awake and continue to create. Today was actually still complicated, however our team began getting more details, plus our team possessed the respect of talking straight along with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our company that the ground staffs would certainly continue to operate and guarantee our security, in addition to the secure operation of the Station. Our company also heard from our Manager, Mr. Goldin, that added that the partners in the Plan are all absolutely dedicated to proceeding safe procedures as well as assistance. These were actually never concerns for me. I recognize all these individuals! The ground groups have been extremely supportive, incredibly understanding of the impact of the information, and also have actually made an effort to be as handy as feasible. They have all been actually very specialist as well as centered though I can't visualize the distraction of the sort of headlines coming in as well as the notion that federal government properties might be at risk. They certainly never skipped a beat, also when transferring nerve center. And a team of elderly personnel and good friends provided us a pretty complete briefing about what was known as well as what was actually being actually done in the federal government and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was really useful and sort of them to perform in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has additionally been actually supporting and valuable, making an effort to uplink news articles when our very own assets were inoperable, and saying kind words ...My crewmates have actually been fantastic, as well. They know it is actually been actually a tough time for me and the individuals on the ground, and also they've attempted to become as also keeled as well as useful as possible. Michael even fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for dinner. And also they offer me a lot of room to assume when I needed it. They are quite thoughtful and of course outraged at whoever will perform this.I recognize so many folks in Washington, so many individuals that take a trip to DC and NYC, a lot of who are pilots, that I really felt certain I will obtain a minimum of a handful of parts of bad news over the next few days. I got the initial one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic throughout cadet summer when our company remained in the D&B all together, and our experts possessed lots of training class together. I can not visualize what he needs to of looked at, and now I hear that he might have increased better than we may also think about through possibly preventing his plane coming from being actually the one to tackle the White Residence. What a horrendous loss, however I ensure Chic was actually fighting bravely to the end. And also tears do not stream the very same in space ...It is actually challenging to explain exactly how it feels to be the only United States fully off the earth at once like this. The emotion that I should be there with each one of you, managing this, helping somehow, is actually difficult. I understand that our team perform the threshold (or past) of a horrendous change in the past history of the planet. Many factors will certainly never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not only for the 1000s and also 1000s of people directly impacted by these ghastly process of violence, but most likely for all of us. Our team will definitely discover ourselves really feeling differently concerning lots of things, consisting of probably room expedition, unfortunately.It is actually awful to find smoke putting from injuries in your personal nation from such an excellent point of view. The dichotomy of performing a spacecraft devoted to boosting life on the earth as well as enjoying lifestyle being actually damaged through such unforced, horrendous actions is jolting to the subconscious, regardless of who you are. And also the knowledge that everything will definitely be actually various than when our experts introduced by the time our experts land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our leadership that our experts will certainly do everything feasible to far better safeguard her and also our families, and also to bring fair treatment wherefore has actually been actually performed. I have confidence that the great folks at NASA are going to carry out everything required to proceed our mission safely and also return our team properly at the correct time. As well as I miss out on every one of you significantly. I can not exist along with you in person, and also our team have a long way to head to complete our goal, but be particular that my heart is actually with you, as well as recognize you are in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last character ... Thankfully, it is actually been actually an occupied full week up right here. And to confirm that, like our nation, our experts are actually continuing on our desired path with business as usual (as much as achievable). Tonight the current add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Chamber will certainly be actually introduced coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States time), it is going to dock with us, at a port never ever used before on the low point edge of the Service Element. This brand-new element will certainly provide us another location to dock an Improvement or Soyuz and also will definitely offer a sizable airlock along with 2 useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our team will definitely perform a few of before we get home.The complication prior to in taking care of today was actually inadequate updates. The concern now is actually a lot of. It arrived simultaneously when email was recovered, as well as there is actually inadequate time to review everything! Plus it is actually as well challenging to take care of all of it at once. Yet I appreciate obtaining it, and also I definitely value the terrific letters of assistance and companionship I am actually acquiring.Our experts are actually doing well aboard, acquiring our work performed, as well as discussing factors. Last night our team possessed a long dialogue over dinner concerning the implication of these celebrations, the feasible activities to comply with, as well as what must be actually done. After supper, Michael challenged telling me that every e-mail he got coming from buddies in Russia claimed primarily to tell me exactly how regretful they were that this taken place, prolonging their condolences, and asking how I was performing. Vladimir educated me the Russian word for "acknowledgements" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are actually a lot too lengthy to verbalize quickly.) Incredibly types people.For the last two times, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to send online broadcasts of broadcast updates concerning the event and also associated stories, to make sure I was properly informed. Every specialist that has actually come on free throw line to go over a technique or even an issue contends some aspect prolonged greetings to me with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that because of the big day of recognition in the US, all day folks had actually been taking blossoms and also edging all the wall structures of the US embassy in Moscow, and this night they were igniting candles in the road outside the consular office. How the planet has actually modified.People just about everywhere appear to identify the senselessness as well as terror within this strike. And also the significant reduction. Moscow has managed these type of concerns in the final handful of years along with condo and subway bombings, so they are as troubled to eliminate this danger as our company are. Yet the bottom line is that there are good individuals almost everywhere that want to reside in tranquility. I check out that a youngster asked, "America is actually thus great to various other countries, our company constantly help every person, how can they despise our team so much?".I really hope the instance of teamwork and also trust that this space probe and all individuals in the course illustrate daily will at some point encourage the remainder of the globe to operate the same way. They must!Regrettably, our team will not be actually piloting over the US during the time folks are actually igniting candlesticks. Do not know if our experts might find that anyway. Our company carried out, having said that, observe a very unusual and also stunning sight a couple of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. Our company were actually overtaking it and it came into view concerning three minutes after its own launch from Baikonur as the sun attacked our terminal, so it was still in the dark. It resembled a sizable comet along with a right, large tail silhouetted against the darker world below. In spite of some negative lighting fixtures for a while as the sun struck our window at a reduced viewpoint, I handled some online video of it as first our company passed the rocket, and then watched it start to catch up as it gained elevation as well as velocity. I recorded up until major engine cutoff as well as booster separation happened just like we came close to daybreak on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in an unforgettable full week ...Life happens, even in space. Our company're listed here to remain ... Frank.